Sniff Him on The Nose (EBV3 Excerpt)

After three posts for Sunny, I thought I should treat you brave few readers with an excerpt. In honour of Sunny, it's cat centered and as such, hopefully you'll find it amusing, as cats can be pretty charming animals. Elven cats may be able to speak in mindspeech, but they're still quite alike to the fiendish little house devils that cat lovers adore. Dansen, in particular, is very idiosyncratic and deserves his own youtube channel, but unfortunately, he's not a real cat, so I can't film him. In this part, Ki tries to get information out of Dansen, but Dansen won't budge, not unless Ki plunges his head in the cold waters of culture shock... slightly edited.



________________________________________________


Sukra got up and he followed him out the door and Sukra let him follow him all the way across the office to the doors at the other end of the hallway, where there was some mail waiting, pushed under the door by the guards on the other side. Ki stood beside Sukra and watched him sort through the mess of letters, tossing some aside to Alkane who looked disapproving, opening others to read them while not looking at some of the letters at all. He held an unintelligable letter up in front of Ki’s face and said something the man obviously found personally amusing then went to his post by the door, leaving the messy stack of letters waiting for Kelveniska on the desk. Ki looked at the letter again and felt a little ill as he realized that human hands had written it, for in the bottom left corner there was stamped the Escavian Coat of Arms. Under that was the name of the Escavian Viceroy, Samuel Fletch.


The letter was very long, the hand writing cramped and rough compared to the more fluidly written drakoon letters around it. Ki felt a hollow feeling inside looking at it. This was a communication from home, but he couldn’t even read it to figure out what was going on because it was written in a language that he still couldn’t understand. He couldn’t even write anything back. He couldn’t send anything, any message asking for help to save him and his brother from this place. Ki couldn’t look at it anymore. He looked up and Sukra was smirking at him maddeningly, Ki comprehending at once what the drakoon had found so funny about the letter. All at once Sukra seemed incredibly cruel; how could any decent person find it amusing than another being was trapped somewhere where they did not want to be, that they couldn’t even call for help when a letter from their homeland came?


“I hate them all.” muttered Ki crouching down in his place beside the desk and glaring over his knees.

Kelveniska scolded Ki for sitting the way he was and told him to transform when he came in. On went Ki’s halter, then the day persisted, Kelveniska answering all of his letters including the human one (Ki noticed he took a little longer than usual reading that one, grimacing as if he found reading it painful) and then went to work again on his machinery schematic. Ki was intensely bored, every single hour a torment. Was sitting here going to be his existence for the rest of his life? Didn’t drakoon ever go outside? He was sick of being inside and of seeing these walls. He wanted to see something new and he wanted to run. All his keepers ever let him do was eat, sleep and follow their commands. It was an immensely dissatisfying life and since it was always dark in the dreary barren windowless office, Ki felt rather depressed. He could almost feel himself going insane from it. No wonder he was so grumpy, when he was essentially living like a prisoner in captivity.

SERIOUSLY, do you ever do anything other than write or draw? Ki growled at Kelveniska halfway through the painful day. Kelveniska told him to be quiet and gave a sharp reinforcing tug on the lead. Ki rolled his eyes and flopped down, putting his head between his paws. That man never does anything interesting. Doesn’t he have secretaries or something who could do all this writing for him? He’s rich. He should.

Yet Kelveniska did not have any secretaries and except for mail retrieval, the sketzine did almost nothing to help him in his never ending flow of paperwork. Ki pitied Kelveniska, but he knew that he himself actually had it worse; his only current job was to eat food and, evident from their imposed lack of activity upon him, to get fat. Ki drearily cast a look across his thin hindquarters and ribs, every bone in his body seeming to stick out to him. Yes, he needed to get fatter he supposed, but he also needed excersize too. He didn’t want to turn from a weak scrawny creature into a weak portly one. He looked across at Sukra and Alkane. How do they keep so trim, when all they do is stand there?

“Vininiska, larx!” ordered Kelveniska, shaking the lead at him. Ki had been growling under his breath. He turned his head as he smelled Dansen coming and hissed at the cat, who dared to come and rub up against him anyway.

Vyze Vininiska, you seem to be growling a lot. Why are you in such difficulty? asked the cat, sitting down infuriatingly in front of him.

Why is it that a stupid cat is the only thing I have to talk to? grated Ki mentally. Dansen cocked his head.

I, stupid? I don’t think so. You should put a better guard on your thoughts Vininiska, thinking like that isn’t seemly. said Dansen. Ki growled. I can’t help but hear when you think so loudly.

I think loudly? demanded Ki, feeling violated at having his thoughts read.

Oh yes. You should think much quieter and be more specific about if you’re just thinking to yourself or not, or else anybody can hear. said Dansen, looking as smug as the Cheshire cat. Obviously though, growing up in that dreadful human place you never had to learn because nobody there had the capacity to listen to you. From what I’ve heard, humans don’t have magic like us.

The cat licked a paw. You never had anybody to talk to who understood, did you?

I don’t want to talk to you. snarled Ki. Get away from me.

No, I don’t think I will. I had news, you know, considering that human, but since you’re so rude, I don’t think I’ll tell you. said Dansen, still cleaning himself, wiping his face with his dampened paw.

That human? repeated Ki, his heart suddenly pounding.

The only one in Sloveniska. said Dansen amusedly, licking his back leg and tail now. My mate knows all about that one. She’s been following him with quite a lot of interest.

Is Hunter alright?! cried Ki, the sound he made a high pitched keening shriek.

That hurts my ears. said Dansen, getting up and stretching exuberantly, curling his fluffy tail over his back. The cat padded over to Kelveniska and pawed at his leg. Kelveniska, Kelveniska, let me into my den please.

Kelveniska pulled open the biggest bottom drawer of the desk and Dansen jumped inside, sticking out his head for a moment. Thank you Kelveniska. I’m going to sleep now, you have a nice day. Don’t worry about keeping Vininiska quiet for me, you know I can sleep through anything.

“Aya Dansen, cwid hensin.” said Kelveniska and as Dansen popped his head down Kelveniska pushed the drawer closed, then immediately went back to work. Ki stared.

Alright, that might have just been the most peculiar thing I have ever seen. thought Ki, trying to say it to himself. A cat that lives in a desk…

Ki tried to be patient waiting for the cat to finish his nap, but after only ten minutes he couldn’t stand waiting anymore. He sidled up beside Kelveniska and pawed at the desk drawer where Dansen was, trying to wake him up.

Dansen! Dansen what about Hunter? Please tell me! said Ki, switching paws to scratch with his other as the first got too tired. Dansen didn’t answer. He didn’t even meow.

DANSEN! chirred Ki. Dansen! Wake up! Please! I can’t stand it, I need to know! Is Hunter okay?

For at least a minute, nothing happened, then an aggravated, drowsy yowl echoed from within the drawer. Stop scratching, you’re hurting the desk. Kelveniska; open the drawer. I must speak to Vininiska where I can see him.

Kelveniska sighed heavily and opened the drawer, Dansen slowly peeking his head out until he and Ki were nose to nose.

Alright Vininiska, I shall admit now that you have a stupendous capacity to be greatly annoying. said Dansen levelly. He seemed tired. If I tell you something of what my mate Manuska told me and you do something for me, will you leave me alone?

Ki cocked his head. That didn’t sound like a good deal. He wanted to know everything that Manuska knew about Hunter.

Oh I can’t tell you all of that. Some of it’s quite controversial, Sukra would have a fit if he discovered I’d told you and Kelveniska isn’t very pleased with the idea either. said Dansen. But I can tell you a little. Now, will you agree to that?

What’s so controversial about Hunter? demanded Ki.

Well firstly, the fact that he’s in our territory. Humans don’t belong here Vininiska. It’s very dangerous. said Dansen. The cat cocked his head. So?

Ki shifted his weight and looked aside. He really, really needed to know about Hunter. Even if it was only a little bit of information, it would be something right?

Fine. What do you want me to do? asked Ki.

Dansen inclined his head towards the blandly watching Kelveniska. Stand up on your hind legs and sniff noses with him.

Ki recoiled, disgusted. I’m not doing that!

Dansen flattened his ears. You are if you want to know about the dog-human! Why are you disgusted by it? It’s how your species says ‘vyze’ when they’re dragons you dolt. It’s like both individuals saying ‘Vyze, how are you’ and answering ‘oh fine’ without actually speaking it. You have to learn this Vininiska, it’s how you can gage health in another animal.

Why would I want to know that? snapped Ki.

Well, firstly because it’s a way that you can determine where you yourself stands within the hierarchy of a group and secondly because if they’re an opponent you can learn whether or not you have any advantage. Also, every animal species in the world but humans do it.

Ki grimaced. How badly did he need to know?

Really badly; Ki turned towards Kelveniska and tensed his hindquarters, ready to stand on them, then it occurred that he had no idea what he was doing. He looked back at Dansen. What do I do?

Sniff him on the nose. Isn’t it self explanatory?

____________________________________________

Easier said than done Dansen! Humans don't sniff noses with each other, so while what Dansen is asking of Ki is completely innocent, Ki has a habit of thinking of everything in human terms - in this case, innocent nose snuffling gets turned into something more akin to a kiss in Ki's poor humanized brain, so the prospect of sniffing noses with Kelveniska - another dude and an older one - freaks the hell out of him. One of the best things about Ki is his ability to tell right from wrong - surprising amongst drakoon - but at the same time, he often gets things wrong, especially when cross culture stuff is concerned. Eventually though, with a lot of pushing and shoving, the little guy adapts and conquers the strange situations that he encounters...