The BCMC (British Columbia Mountaineering Club) Trail, is, supposedly, the less cruel sister of the famous and stupendously awful trail known internationally as the Grouse Grind. Both trails run from the base of Grouse Mountain (easily accessible by transit) to the summit, where all the fun stuff is. Today I went in with a plan of taking the 'kinder' BCMC to the top to save quite a few bucks on a gondola ticket (how most people get to Grouse Mountain's summit) and then I was going to go off and hike to Goat Mountain.
I didn't get to Goat Mountain today. The furthest I got, in fact, was Grouse's summit. Why? Well, the fact is, is that BCMC is really not much kinder at all than the Grind. In full, honest truth, the BCMC is still amazingly horrible. Is it gentler than the hell-case known as the Grind? Yes. But it's still pretty shitty. Now, I like trails. I am an obsessive hiker and I love hiking, yet when a trail is almost vertical for 2.5 kilometres in which I am constantly lifting my feet to hip-high and breathing like a stricken racehorse with my face all red, well, that's when I DON'T like a trail. I hike for fun, thank you. The BCMC isn't fun. Also, I was passed many times, which kind of damages my pride. (Of course, I had to come ultra prepared for that Goat Mountain jaunt that I never did with 2 litres of water, a fleece hoodie, sketchbook & sketch pouch and full survival emergency pack - that all comes to about 10 lbs of weight on my back, which feels more like 30 lb when you're doing something stupid like the BCMC Trail.) A good hike is one where you can enjoy the scenery. You CAN'T enjoy the scenery on the BCMC Trail, because it never gives you a chance to lift your head up from the ground as you toil up the dementedly steep mountainside. The BCMC trail and this crazy guy I hiked with for the last five minutes of it, all come together to tell me some facts about myself and about people on the Lower Mainland:
1. People here are fucking insane and have no idea of what a real hike is like. (Note, I know what a real hike is like because I like the long 25+ km ones!)
2. I'm out of shape, which isn't surprising, given that I barely ever get any excersize (noooooo!) and that I just ran through a bad episode with my IBS (which didn't bother me AT ALL today and it's been twinging all week - hiking IS medicine!) so I need to find a way to be more active, without doing something retarded like magically acquiring a dog from some place. (Actually I think being a professional dog walker would be an awesome career!)
So, how do I rate this trail?
On a scale from 1 to 10, I rate this one a 1. It's less disgusting than the Grind (which I rate a 0, as it should not have the right to call itself a trail) but it's still not very fun. The Grind is a hellish staircase to insanity. The BCMC is a trail which is considering becoming a hellish staircase to insanity.
Would I do it again? Potentially; yes, when I'm fitter. Why, when I hate this trail so much? Well, personally, I'd rather not pay the $45 lift ticket up the mountain to the summit just for a day walk there. Hiking should be FREE. The right to move around and experience freedom is so base in our souls that it is as required as water, another thing which should always be FREE.
Don't do this hike if you've never hiked before, if you're overweight or if you're extremely out of shape. Work up to it; you'll be thankful! (Also, if you're a new hiker this might poison you to hiking forever because it is truthfully terrible!)
Now, the hike up might have sucked (also meeting that weird guy who claims that he regularly runs from Park Royal to the top of Grouse and back who's going to Mt. Fuji next month was sort of a turn off to any more extensive hiking, especially when he happily said that Goat Mountain is a lot like the BCMC - uh. Yeah. Fuck no.) but the summit of Grouse Mountain is actually a really great destination! Most of the really crazy things like ziplining and paragliding are obviously activities which you have to pay an arm and a leg for, but there are plenty of free activities which are great for the whole family! Also, with stupendous views and fun educational nature stuff, it's an especially good place to expose young children to the great outdoors, without them getting too tired.
In winter Grouse Mountain is a ski resort and as I don't ski, I can't really attest to its ski-ness. However, in summer, the place is pretty cool; at the bottom of the mountain close to the parking lot you can see three male timber wolves from the film industry and at the top you can see....
...Grinder & Coola, the resort's ambassador captive grizzly bears, who were instrumental in the recent development of bear rehabilitation techniques (they're pretty much the reason that scientists can now take an orphan bear cub from the wild, rehab it and release it when it's old enough now)...
...see a Harris Hawk named Natas at the Canadian Raptor Conservancy's 'Wings in Motion' show...
...see an ADORABLE squeaky female Great Horned Owl named Galaxy...
...see a really funny and fascinating turkey vulture lovingly named Frank as well as a red-tailed hawk, which the conservancy is valiantly petitioning to make Canada's national bird, since bald eagles (America's national bird) like to EAT iconic Canada geese...
...and Rocco, the bald eagle, who is apparently an escape artist. The show promises to also showcase falcon species soon!
Besides the wolves, grizzlies and the brilliant Wings in Motion show, Grouse also has a 'World Famous Lumberjack Show' (which I've seen before at the IPE, my home town's fair and which was much funnier there, but the show at Grouse is still excellent, especially if you've never seen it) and 'The Eye of the Wind' which is a massive wind turbine that Grouse decided to put up to make its resort more energy efficient. You can also take a lift to an observation deck at the top and see the view - I didn't. I wasn't sure if you had to pay money to do that and I'm a cheapskate. Plus, I don't very much like heights, though I definitely would have went if I hadn't been alone and if it was free!
All I got a picture of for the lumberjack show was the set up. I didn't take any photos of the actual show for some reason. Before that I enjoyed an interpretive talk on Coola and Grinder the grizzly bears, as well as the Wings in Motion show which I loved, because I got to learn some great new things! (Like, did you know that an adult grown male human can only exert with his fist about 78 lbs of pressure, while a Great Horned Owl can do about 7,000 lbs and that only three bird species in the world have a sense of smell, two of them vultures? Other birds can't smell at all! It's pretty amazing! Also, did you know that turkey vultures can apparently projectile vomit their rancid stomach contents - remember, they eat carrion; rotten meat - at a range of 6 feet as a threat display to scare off predators? Apparently the scent is worse than skunk, which, amusingly, is the favourite prey of Great Horned Owls (which can't smell.))
The Eye of the Wind. It's pretty impressive close up. I've seen wind turbines before in Alberta in fields, but I've never been able to walk right up to one before!
My favourite part wasn't the huge propellers though. It was the base of the shaft, which had really cute sillouettes of North American animals on it, including a wolf!
Also, if you're clinically insane you can zipline from Grouse Mountain to the next peak over...
...and if you're even more insane than that, you can go paragliding! Wee! $200 panic attack at 500 feet in the air! Exciting!
What was really great though, was the views. You can see nearly the entire Lower Mainland from up on Grouse!
But, that wasn't my favourite view...
...this was, and it made me cry, because it made me miss hiking in the Rocky Mountains with my parents and my brothers. I really miss my family. I wanted more of a view in this direction, which could only be seen behind the wind turbine and I wanted to go off hiking, under that glorious, glorious mountain...
...but enough of my sadness. Today, I wore my new gaiters, which I've only worn a few times before. They worked well and I didn't notice them on my legs as much today, except when I was overheating on the BCMC, where I got so hot that I had to pull them down around my ankles, which, y'know, kind of defeats the purpose of leg protection, as with them rolled down they couldn't protect my legs from my boots as I have a habit of scratching myself with the tread, making my legs all muddy. So, today I came back with muddy legs, despite my effort of wearing gaiters. (Which, by the way, make me fantasize a lot about eventing horses, since, y'know, eventing horses wear gaiters to protect their legs too... I have a pretty big obsession with horses.)
A picture of me! I took it, but hopefully it doesn't look too much like I did. I really hate 'myspace' photos. Y'can tell the BCMC wore me down a bit here. I really only had about 50% of my endurance left.
Pretty eh? Now, imagine the gigantic swarm of black flies which was also enjoying this vista, while supping on the many different international vintages of tourist's blood. Surprisingly they left me alone while I was sitting completely still life drawing that vista of the craggy mountain that I liked, but the second I stood up there was a horde upon me again! Little bastards... I can't WAIT to count how many bug bites they gave me tomorrow, though they might have just been landing on my skin endlessly to be annoying. I think they like the smell of hiker sweat.
After enjoying the view, I went back down the peak trail to the chalet, passing by the grizzlies, who were having a snack of apples soaked in honey. At the chalet I window perused the gift shop (and saw two wolf books I dearly wanted to buy), bought my down ticket, then attended the free interpretive documentary on Grinder and Coola, which told all about the experiment that they were involved in, that of seeing if, with as little human interaction as possible, a bear cub could be successfully be put back into the wild once it was old enough to go free. The result? Yes, but Grinder and Coola are to be forever captive, because they're too habituated, even with as little handling as they received as babies.
The views again, were really, really great!
There were also a plethora of great wood carvings! I especially liked this angry threat displaying grizzly. All the grizzly stuff about how deeply instinct based they are really gave me some great inspiration for writing Ki, my drakoon protagonist!
Though I can't see a drakoon standing up this high on its hindquarters and roaring like this. Drakoon have a lot of trouble rearing as-dragon actually. There's too many bits of their anatomy from their tails to their wings and everything in between unbalancing them.
After all that, I decided that I was hungry and that I wanted to go home. I went for a last stroll around to capture a few photos of the sunset and the tram coming in, then I got on and that was that. Now I'm waiting for my quiche to be done, so that I can eat! Grr!!
All in all, a very good day! Lots of thinking got done and that is awesome!
Photos: Rosanna P. Brost
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