The other day, a few nights back, I stayed overnight at my buddy Rachel's house and we pulled an all-nighter, drawing stuff and generally having fun. It was awesome and during that time we had some interesting conversations, from how time lapses for artists when we work because the act of noticing time pass is a left brained thing - and we are right brained, so in using our right brains we literally lose our ability to perceive the passage of time when we are concentrating on our creative pursuits - wow - to a bit about my future. My buddy said that when I'm thinking towards my future, I must consider what I am willing to give up. To me, I also find I must consider what is absolutely the most important things to me and to not lie to myself, as I'm pretty good at doing. The fact that I'm a liar to my own soul and a procrastinator is why I am still in Vancouver, despite my heart saying that it wants to go back to square one in the Okanagan.
(Photo Note: These images are from the Heather Trail in Manning Provincial Park, a backpacking expedition I did with my brother and my dad in 2007. All photos taken by my father.)
So what am I willing to give up? Nothing. The fact is, I'm the type of person who believes that you can have your cake and eat it too! What's most important to me? Family, not being alone for my whole life and hiking. Yep, hiking. Hiking trumps art though I love art. Here's how things go in my had:
1. Family & Being Loved + Giving Love
2. Hiking
3. Writing
4. Art
Thus, the most important thing to me besides my base need for companionship (I am NOT a dog who can be happy being left all day alone in the backyard, then get a piddly walk and a cuddle once and again THANK YOU) the most important thing to me psychologically is hiking. This is pretty good; hiking is usually free, the only thing that makes hiking beyond my reach right now is my inability to drive a car, so I need a license and a job that'll give me gas money to get to my precious hiking trails. Now, I could get into animation and make a stupid amount of money, but the problem with the animation industry is that it is usually centered around large cities and if there is one thing which is absolutely true about big cities, is that the hike offerings most often range from nil to almost nothing. If I live in a big city like that, I will be denying the wild part of my soul which wants to HIKE! So, the animation is not an indefinite career choice, though I think I might be willing to work in it for a while, just to figure things out and get some finances going. If I join the animation industry permanently, I will be denying a very large part of my soul and thus, lying to myself.
BUT, I can not deny that I'm not a fully trained artist either, or that there's a big part of me that also wants to draw, draw, draw! SO, what I need to do is find a career which either:
- Is an outdoorsy job which gives me enough free time for writing and artsing.
- Or, is an artsy job located in some outdoorsy town which gives me enough time and resources for hiking.
Most of all, I need to find a life partner who wants to hike as much as I do, because unfortunately, dogs and cats can't hike everywhere! A life partner would also help take care of my need for loneliness and family. Again, I am NOT a dog who can be left alone in the backyard. I whine and I yelp and I howl and I start to do stupid things like dig up all the tulips. A wolf can NOT be without a pack!
So far, the only ideas so far for my near future are thus:
- Move back to Okanagan where parents are, preferably before winter.
- Save up money and learn to drive a car; driving a car opens up outdoorsy career opportunities as well as gives me more freedom to get to my hiking trails.
- Take a NOLS course! Yukon, Alaska or Wyoming! Maybe two! I'd love to be able to do horsepacking as well as backpacking.
- Figure out career after NOLS gives me experience and thus more deciding power.
I think that's a pretty good game plan for my life. Plus, I might kill two birds with one stone and meet my perfect life companion at NOLS! You never know... I can be hopeful... but all this costs money, so in the meantime, I will be applying for jobs in the animation industry, preferably in the Okanagan. No matter what happens, at least I have a plan now... somewhat! If anyone has any ideas which combine art and the wilderness, I'm all ears!
Photos: Bryan B. Brost
Art: Rosanna P. Brost
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